Death, they say is the final truth! The one thing that we can say with complete certainty in this constantly changing and evolving world is the certainty of death. It is eventually going to come for all of us, the poor and the rich, the happy and the depressed across all ethnicities and beliefs. And yet, almost all communities speak about death in the most hushed voices, behind closed doors, we refrain our kids from speaking or asking questions about it and keep them in the blind for the longest time. But why? Let’s talk about what stops us from talking about this ultimate truth and how we can ease conversations about death.
Death is scary, especially because it’s the unknown we fear. Each religion has tied death with fear because of concepts like hell, and nirvana, etc. People fear that their actions may result in a certain outcome and don’t wish to go into the depths of it. However, this precisely is the reason why we need to overcome this fear. This is the one thing that unites us all, the entire human race -the fear of death. So why not eliminate it and accept it more graciously as the inevitable truth. A cancer patient always lives the last few months of their life fully, because they accept the inevitability and realize the potential life holds. Don’t we all need to focus on life, as we accept death?
Most people live their lives as if we have endless days. They are stuck in the grind and the daily rut of life. They may live in denial thinking they have their whole lives to prepare for their kid's marriage, college funds and repay debts. The thought of death in such a circumstance will only bring chaos and confusion. But shouldn’t we all prepare for exactly these reasons? So that we don’t leave our families and loved ones blindsided. A study published in https://bmcpalliatcare.biomedcentral.com/(2019), stated that only 37% of people had prepared a will. This leaves ambiguity and confusion in our families, that only results in further disputes.We need to take responsibility and act well, own up to the possibility of death at any moment. Let’s please normalize the preparedness needed for death.
The worst thing we can do to our kids is to not reveal to them the truth of life in all its rawness. Because when you leave, they will have to unwillingly face the brutalities of life. When the time and age is right, it is imperative to have a positive conversation about death in a way that prepares them for the uncertainty and inevitability of it. If we teach our kids love, shouldn’t they also know heartbreak? If we teach our kids how to prepare for life, shouldn’t we also at least make them aware of death.
We are social beings that need to depend on each other. However, when it comes to death, we hate to be a burden on our family by assigning them roles they need to fulfill once you pass. Well, in which case, we need to have open- ended conversations that make life easier for all involved. Depending on family and friends for tasks to be done post-death will be required of them whether you like it or no. The best thing we can do is to plan it in an organized way. If communicate our wishes or our expectations, handling it will be much more hassle-free for our loved ones who may already be stressed during tough times.
Let us be more open-minded and free about all conversations that have to do with death and all its facets, however uncomfortable. When we talk about it enough, we only make it easier for everyone involved.